the medium sized mermaid
PT

snorlaxatives:

this is my new favorite twitter account

intensional:

when there’s a fire, don’t forget to stop, drop and pop it, lock it, polka dot it, country-fy it and hip-hop it

simplypotterheads:

I like how all of these 11-17 year olds are just going to school with vampires and werewolves and giant spiders and vicious three-headed dogs in their backyard, yet they need a permission slip with an iron-clad parent/guardian signature to go have a harmless butterbeer at the nearby wizarding village. 

Okay, Hogwarts. Okay.

kingcheddarxvii:

Had a dream just now that Macklemore was named TIME magazine’s Most Muggable Musician and he showed up at an interview to accept the award and they mugged him

vauxn:

dont be a fucking music snob holy crap some people like the beatles others like nicki minaj like shut the fuck up theyre just different types of noises ur not superior for liking one and not the other

suffocateing:

*walks out of exam*

well i was successfully able to bullshit every answer on the test so i think i did okay

thesorrovv:

ma’am im sorry but that baby was due today, i don’t care if its not done just turn in what you have

iamwizz:

The year is 2060. iPhone 842 is released. The screen touches you